dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
