and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
