he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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