The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
