all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize