everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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