I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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