I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i think my cat just said my name.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
