Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
