I think im going to throw up on grandma
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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