4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
