My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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