So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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