Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
