i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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