Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize