She is in my trunk
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Someone signed my nipple.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
