I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
