Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
