nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Buhtt sex?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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