Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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