Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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