I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
