I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
