ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
