She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
