I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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