if you like me you must not know who I am
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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