too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
