you turned your livingroom into a bong?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
