I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
