Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
the raccoons are back...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
