we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
