so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
