____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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