It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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