she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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