i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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