have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
