Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hippo gnu deer
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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