I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
