I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
