So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
