apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
