I wannas sexs uuuuu
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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