i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
