I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
