Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
dude. I can hear the air.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
