i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
