Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
too bad you live with your parents still
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
