Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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