I want you more than these girls want KFC
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Mom said you looked used
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
