I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
