I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
