sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
