My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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