So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
